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  "Why are we not able to do this naturally?" Alice interrupted. "Your ego may get in the way," Patricia interjected. "My ego?" Alice said. "Yes," Patricia replied. "The word ego means different things to different people. When we use the term ego, we are referring to that portion of waking consciousness that deals with physical manipulation. In other words, the ego is the eye through which the mind perceives, or the focus, if you will, through which it views physical reality."

  "So my ego is who I am?" Alice questioned. "No," Gerald replied emphatically. "Your ego is who you think you are. It is not who you really are. It is the part of you that thinks of you as being an individual."

  "But I am an individual aren't I?" Alice asked. "Yes, Alice Ralston is an individual physical being. But Alice Ralston is also part of a multidimensional entity or soul if you prefer. You are a particular manifestation of your soul."

  "You see Alice, we often think of the ego as being who we are. But the ego is only a portion of us; it is that part of our personality that deals directly with the contents of our conscious mind and is concerned most directly with the material portions of our physical experience."

  "If my ego is not who I really am then who am I?" Alice asked. "This is sounding like something out of Alice in Wonderland," a member of the group exclaimed. "Yes, well if you'll humor me," Gerald said. "We'll go down the rabbit hole a bit further."

  Standing up Marcus said, "Can I take a crack at it, Gerald?" "Why yes, of course, Marcus please do," Gerald replied sounding surprised. "As Gerald explained," Marcus said standing up and stretching his back, "the ego is the eye through which the conscious mind perceives, or one could say, it is the focus through which it views physical reality."

  "Ego is a good thing then?" Alice asked. "Oh yes," Marcus replied. "Ego is a very good thing to have. We wouldn't be able to function in physical reality without one. The ego is necessary to have the experience that you Alice Ralston are now having."

  "It's an experience of, as Paracelsus might say, what you imagine to be a separate personality in a relative physical world. But when the ego becomes rigid or unyielding difficulties will arise. The ego may then allow the conscious mind to work only in certain specific directions and blocks its awareness in others."

  "Are the ego and the conscious mind the same thing?" Alice asked. "I don't believe so no," Marcus replied. "The ego is composed of various portions of the personality. It is a combination of constantly changing characteristics that deal most directly with the world. The conscious mind is a function that belongs to inner awareness. Through the conscious mind, the soul looks outward. Left alone, without rigid interference from the ego, it perceives clearly."

  "How do I recognize or become aware of my ego?" Alice questioned. "My feeling is that when you become aware of the ego in you, it does not mean you know who you truly are—it means you know who you are not. In other words, you are not your ego. You are not your intellect or even your body. And on balance I don't believe that you are your consciousness either. Consciousness is like a window through which you look, but it is not you." "Then who am I?" Alice asked. "You are the one who sees that. You are the one that is awakening to who you really are."

  "My, that's very provocative Marcus," Patricia said with a smile. "It sounds like you've been studying our material." "I have yes,” he replied. “But I'm not sure where all this is coming from. It seems to be just spilling out of me." "Well, either way I'm impressed," Patricia answered. "We're getting a bit off the subject of tonight's discussion, however. Let's take a short coffee break, everyone," she announced.

  Alice watched as Marcus went with the others to get some coffee from the stove. She smiled and moved away from the group to talk to Gerald. "You enjoying yourself Alice?" he inquired. "It's all very interesting, but I don't pretend to understand much of it." "For most people Alice, it takes a while for these concepts to sink in," he replied.

  "It looks like Marcus grasped these ideas pretty quickly though. Didn't you mention that he was new to the group also?" she asked. "Actually," Gerald offered, "he's only attended a few of our meetings. I'm surprised with his progress. Why don't you grab some coffee and chat with him a bit?"

  Alice slipped away from Gerry and made her way to the refreshment table. Pouring coffee she looked up to see Marcus standing to her left. "We newbies have to stick together don't you think?" he asked passing her the cream.

  "I suppose so but you sure don't sound like a newbie to all this stuff Marcus." "Believe me I'm still learning," he added taking a sip of his coffee. "You work for Gerry then?" he asked. "Yes, for about a year now. I'm a research assistant."

  "What type of project are you working on?" he asked with a smile. "Oh, well you might find it of interest. But it's pretty esoteric stuff." "Try me," he exclaimed. “OK, the firm has a grant to study the work of Doctor Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. In particular her theory, that human beings consist of more than just a physical body. She accumulated a huge number of NDE case histories to give substance to her claim."

  "NDE is near death experience?" Marcus asked.

  "Right. It's pretty fascinating stuff. She documented case after case where the patients experienced a great feeling of well-being, serenity and peace while they were out of their bodies. Did you know that she discovered that many patients who returned from death were angry with the resuscitation teams for forcing them out of a blissful state?"

  "Her case histories cite people who lacked any vital signs or who were pronounced clinically dead but were revived and returned to life. Almost all said that they remained fully conscious at the moment of death. They were fully aware of themselves and experienced the sensation of floating out of their physical bodies."

  "Fascinating stuff," Marcus replied.

  "Yeah, I think so too. Did you know,” Alice continued, “that early physicians made the diagnosis of death if they could not detect a heartbeat and if a pulse was not palpable at the wrist? The limitations of that method were emphasized by Groucho Marx when he grabbed his friend's wrist, looked at his watch and gravely announced: Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped."

  Laughing uncontrollably Marcus said, "A bit of gallows humor. I love it. On that note let's rejoin the group. Looks like they’re getting ready to start again.”

  Clearing her throat Patricia exclaimed, “Get comfortable folks, and we’ll continue with our discussion. Marcus would you like the floor?” “Yes,” he replied taking a seat next to Alice. “I’d like to expand on a question Alice asked earlier. We’re saying that our goal or the goal of our soul is to come awake from our normal waking state. Is that right?”

  “Yes, precisely,” Patricia replied.

  “So in practical terms how do we do that?” Marcus responded. “To begin with,” Patricia continued, “we believe that the initial glimpse of awakening happens by grace without any effort on your part. From there when you’ve had your first glimpse of awakened consciousness you begin to shift back and forth between the two states. Eventually, awakened doing becomes your predominant state. So while you’re waiting for this to happen you may suddenly realize that it is already happening within you. You are beginning the process of separating thinking from awareness.”

  “Yes, and when that happens,” Gerald added, “you discover who you really are - consciousness that has become conscious of itself. And sometimes, as Pat explained, just a glimpse is enough to initiate the awakening process in you.”

  “The realization of awakening,” Patricia interjected, “is like one that happens occasionally to many people in the dream state, when suddenly they awaken while still in the dream, realizing that they are indeed dreaming and that they themselves are creating the experienced drama. This phenomenon is referred to as lucid dreaming or consciousness dreaming. One method to become acquainted with the awakened consciousness is to explore and understand the nature of your own dreaming self particularly when one is in the midst of a lucid dream. It’s my opinion though that not many people want to take the time or mak
e the effort to do so.”

  “The Mandela preach that it’s quite possible to take your normally conscious self into the dream state to your advantage,” Gerald added. “When you do so you will discover that you’re dreaming self and your waking self are one and the same but operating in entirely different psychological environments. You are functioning at a high level of awareness using your inner senses. At the same time, you will be certain of your identity. You will realize that your physical self is sleeping safely in bed while your inner self is fully awake within the dream.”

  “Exactly,” Patricia declared. “Even though the awakening state happens by grace without any effort on your part, one method to perhaps speed up the process is to practice lucid dreaming.”

  “What exactly is lucid dreaming?” Alice questioned. “Lucid dreaming,” Patricia replied, “is quite simply dreaming while knowing that you are dreaming. It is a dream in which you awaken while still in the dream realizing first of all that you are dreaming and secondly, that you yourself are creating the dream scene. It’s rather difficult to explain the initial feeling of wonder and surprise that accompany your first lucid dream.”

  “How can we learn more about how to induce a lucid dream?” Alice questioned. “The initial step towards having your first lucid dream is to acquire skill in remembering your dreams,” Gerald replied. “Many people feel unconnected to their own dreams and accept this as the normal state of affairs. Most of us have erected barriers between our waking and dreaming selves. Our culture has conditioned us to ignore our dream life, labeling it unrealistic and meaningless. As a consequence, some people don’t remember their dreams simply because they take no interest in them.”

  “The best way to signal your inner dreamer that you are indeed paying attention to his messages is to begin keeping a dream diary. The very act of making the effort to record your dreams on a regular basis is itself a stimulus to making dreams more accessible,” Patricia said. “Your dreams will increase in frequency and you will begin to cultivate the art of dream recall.”

  “So once I’ve started to compile a dream diary what steps do I take to initiate a lucid dream?” Alice asked. “The simplest method I’ve found is to look at my hands,” Gerald replied. “Some of you may be familiar with the series of books by Carlos Castaneda concerning his experience and spiritual journey under the tutelage of the Yaqui Indian Don Juan.”

  “I’ve read all his books,” a member of the group offered. “I learned a lot from Don Juan, but I always thought that Carlos was a bumbling idiot.” “Yes, that and,” another group member said, “I’m of the opinion that as popular as his books were they were entirely fiction.”

  “Either way,” Gerald continued, “I’ve used his technique with some measure of success to bring on lucidity in my dreams. In his book Journey to Ixtlan, Castaneda describes a method given to him by Don Juan to “set up dreaming”. Don Juan felt that to “set up dreaming” you need to start by doing something very simple. He told Carlos that beginning that night, in his dreams, that he must look at his hands. He further explained that Carlos needed to pick one thing in advance and find it in his dreams. Any part of the body would do as long as he picked it in advance and suggested to himself upon retiring that he would find that part in his dreams.”

  “That part of the body then once found, would serve as his trigger to lucidity. A case in point: Before drifting off to sleep one evening, I gave myself the instruction that I would look at my hands in a dream. In an ordinary dream, I was traveling on horseback with a group of outlaws running from a posse that was hot on our trail. I knew that we had buried a large amount of money from one of our previous heists under a rock by a large tree in the immediate area.”

  “Finding the tree, I jumped off my horse, ran to the spot of the buried treasure and started digging frantically with my hands. I dug deeper and deeper with my hands and just as I hit pay dirt and caught sight of the money; my attention was drawn from the money to my hands. I began examining my hands and suddenly realized that I had told myself to look at my hands in a dream. SNAP, I woke up in the dream. This technique worked for me the third time I tried it and continues to bring results about 20 percent of the time.”

  “In my experience,” Patricia added, “lucid dreams occur primarily between the hours of three and six in the morning. If you awake in the early morning, get up, get a drink of water, walk around a bit to shake off a little of the grogginess then return to bed and repeat the suggestion that you will look at your hands during a dream. Then keep notes in your dream diary as to the wording of your suggestions and the results attained.”

  “We have dozens of books and periodicals on the subject in storage at the warehouse. Marcus, will you pull every publication we have on lucid dreaming and bring them to our next meeting?” Patricia asked. “In particular bring the titles by Norman Malcolm, Frederik Van Eeden, and Celia Green. Oh, and collect all the titles by Stephen LaBerge. He developed a method using visualization to bring on lucid dreams while he was a psychophysiologist at Stanford University’s Sleep Research Center.”

  “Will do,” Marcus replied. “If I may I’ve something to add.” “By all means Marcus please do,” Patricia replied. “I propose that in order to awaken to who you really are its necessary to become centered in the present moment. To do so one must Stop Thinking!”

  “How on earth are we to do that?” Alice asked. “Thoughts roll through my head all day long.” “First, be quiet. Still yourself and relax. Get in a comfortable position and close your eyes. Your incessant thoughts will begin to slow down a bit. Relax and be still for a bit. Focus on your breathing. Listen to your breathing instead of your thoughts. If your mind fills with thoughts don’t think about it just let the thoughts slip away. Let them pass. If one has a mantra say it to yourself as you breathe in and out.”

  “What is a mantra?” Alice asked. “A mantra is a word or a sound repeated to aid concentration in meditation,” Marcus replied. “What if one doesn’t have a mantra?”

  “I’ll give you a mantra that we all can use: I YAM AH. Say it to yourself as you slowly breathe in and out as an aid in quieting your thoughts. Be the awareness in the background. If sounds or feelings intrude let them pass. You are the awareness that is prior to thought. Don’t try to judge your thoughts. Let them be – Let them pass. Let go. Drift into nothingness – into the void. Accept whatever inner sights you see and sounds you may hear. Merge with the essence of your soul. Practice this technique once daily for twenty minutes at a time and see what happens.”

  “This mantra meditation will help us to awaken to who we really are?” Alice asked skeptically. “It’s a starting point yes,” Marcus replied. “A technique to center oneself in the present moment.”

  “Have you made a study of transcendental meditation Marcus?” Patricia questioned. “No, I haven’t,” he replied. “Quite frankly I’m not sure where this information is coming from. I seem to vaguely recall someone telling me this, but I can’t for the life of me remember who.” “Perhaps it’s from something you read while studying the titles in the warehouse?” Patricia asked. “No, I don’t think that’s it,” he replied. “I’m quite sure that everything I’ve related today to the group is the result of a conversation I had with someone.” “Oh well no matter, but on that note,” Gerald exclaimed, “let’s sit back and get comfortable for our closing meditation.”

  ≈≈≈≈≈≈

  The next morning, Marcus arrived an hour early for his meeting with Maggie. The hustle and bustle of Waikiki were in full swing as he walked on the beach. The bench, where he was to meet Maggie, sits just off the sand facing a backdrop of Diamond Head. Surrounded by boxwood hedges, it rests on a grassy knoll overlooking the beach.

  He noticed an older man dressed in suspenders and a faded Hawaiian shirt with pants that were too short for him sitting on the same bench. Not wishing to disturb him, he took a seat on the sand a bit further towards the surf. The old man sat quietly with eyes closed and hands fo
lded in his lap. He appeared to be sound asleep.

  "It's OK son you can share the bench with me if you like," the old-timer replied peeking out of one eye. "Saw you looking at me. Come on sit down. This is the best spot for people watching." "I think I will, thanks," Marcus replied taking a seat.

  Marcus tried to ignore the noise from the beach and adjoining street to concentrate on what he was going to say to Maggie. He wanted another chance with her but wasn't sure how to go about it. Somehow or other he had to win her over.

  Scanning the area he marveled at the beauty of the cumulus clouds obscuring the tip of Diamond Head. The light sprinkles of rain falling gently on the crater's slope caught Marcus's eye.

  Then between one moment and the next, the world literally changed for him. It was like he was viewing the area from an entirely different perspective. Everything seemed super-real as if the world were more than just three dimensional. The people on the beach were more there somehow, fuller and more complete. This is indescribable; he thought to himself. Can anyone else see this or is it just me?

  The world appeared richer and more alive. I recognize the beach, he thought, but I've never truly seen it this way before. The sand, the water, and even the air was fresh and new. The palm trees swaying overhead in the gentle breeze gave off a luminous light he had never noticed before. The normal beach scene with its wave runners, catamarans, and sun worshippers suddenly came into a new spectacular life; a life that had been there all the time but with which he was just becoming aware.

  The physical beach and street hadn't really changed: The Shore Bird and Outrigger hotels still sat in their place. But everything seemed more that itself imbued with an extra reality. The transformation was astonishing. All he could do was sit and stare.

  "Do you see this?" he asked turning and nudging the old man. "See what son?" the old man replied opening his eyes and yawning. "The people," Marcus blurted. "Look at them. They're so super real. Each one is unique and individual yet they seem to be part of something else. And look at the beach and the surf. Every spec of sand and drop of water is sparkling. The entire area, even that grocery cart over there, is glistening."